If you read my introduction post or some of the things I've written on my personal blog, you'll know by now that I want to be a writer. From a young age it has been my dream to release my own books one day. As a kid I used to write stories, some of them I managed to actually finish, others have been abandoned after a few pages. I remember that one time we got the assignment to write a story at school - we used to work on it for like an hour every day which soon became my favourite part of the day.

At some point when I got older I kind of just stopped. I stopped believing that I'll be an author in the future, I stopped thinking that it's even a realistic option to pursue writing as a career. Why? Because this thing called self-doubt came in the way. I'm a very self-critical person in general & tend to doubt myself a lot. Wanting to be a writer is something that continued to be on my mind though, even when I pushed that thought aside.

What I know now is that if something is constantly on your mind, that's what you should pursue. No matter what it is you want to do, whether you want to be a writer, a blogger or something completely different, learning to deal with self-doubt is important. It's definitely not easy to ignore those voices in your head telling you that you can't do it but if they are holding you back from following your passion then it's worth it to give it a try. This doesn't only apply to what you want to do in life but also just having to do a certain task or assignment. Whatever it is that causes your self-doubts, there are a few things you can remind yourself of to give them less power over you. 

To be honest, I suck at ignoring self-doubts myself. If I didn't, I wouldn't have stopped believing in my dream for a while. It's something I'm working on at the moment and I've been thinking about a lot recently. Why do I have self-doubts? How do I deal with them? How can I get rid of them? Those are all questions I asked myself so I wanted to share some of my thoughts on that topic today. I'm writing this for all of you who are struggling with doubting yourself as well but I'm also writing it for myself so I can look back on it whenever I feel the need to.


Get rid of expectations, they lead to being disappointed

Personally I feel like the number one reason for my self-doubts is that I always build up this image in my head - whether it's for a blogpost, a book or a different task, I tend to set expectations of what I want my work to look like. This image is often too perfect though, I know that I won't be able to meet these expectations and just end up being disappointed in myself for not doing a better job.

Thinking like that won't help though, we need to stop being our own worst critic and we need to stop being so hard on ourselves. Just because your work isn't perfect, doesn't mean it's not good. Your work will never be perfect because perfection doesn't even exist. So if that's what you're aiming for, you'll never start and you'll never get anything done.

You honestly just have to start somewhere. Taking the example of writing a blogpost, make a first draft. You can always get back to it and edit what you don't really like about it later on. A first attempt doesn't have to be your best piece of work.
       

Don't underestimate your skills, you're capable of amazing things 

Underestimating myself is another thing I'm definitely guilty of. I realised that whatever it is you're doing, there will always be aspects of it that you're not that good at. What that doesn't mean though, is that you're not talented enough or don't have the needed skills to accomplish your task or goal. I think what we need to be aware of to kick self-doubt in the ass is that we all have strengths and weaknesses but that we should put more focus on what we're good at and accept what we can't do that well. Like I said, perfection doesn't exist.
  

Practise & try not to be afraid of failure 

You know, sometimes I'm afraid that once I start working on a blogpost, on a poem or on a novel, I'll suddenly find out that I can't do it. I tell myself: What if I get stuck? What if I'll end up having writer's block? What if I can't manage to formulate my thoughts? In those moments, when I start over thinking, I have to tell myself that I want this more then I am afraid of failure. Because just like the image I have in my head, those thoughts hold me back from even starting.

Besides, failure is part of life. Just because you fail to accomplish something once doesn't mean you'll always fail. It really is true that the more you do something, the better you get at it. And the better you get at something, the more you start believing in yourself.
  
 
Look back on past accomplishments & listen to positive feedback

These two things really do help me a lot! When someone compliments you on something you've created or accomplished, it can be so easy to think that they are not being honest. Having self-doubts means that you don't believe in your skills so why would others recognise that you're good at what you're doing?

Well, if you want to get rid of self-doubt you have to listen to positive feedback and trust that those people really do mean what they say. Whenever I get a comment on a post or a poem or a snippet of my book complimenting my writing, it makes me feel so much more confident in what I'm doing. Positive feedback won't necessarily completely shut up this inner voice but it will make it easier to ignore it.

Whenever I doubt my abilities to write a novel, I remind myself that I actually did manage to write a book for my dissertation. Looking back on past accomplishments makes you realise that you CAN do it. You managed to once so why shouldn't you be able to do it again?

   
 
Do you struggle with self-doubts as well? How do you deal with them? I'd love to know!

I really hope this post was helpful in some way. I wish you all an amazing week & I'll see you next Tuesday.

Sara x

Personal Blog: Sara's Chapters