Christmas time means snuggling up on the couch with a blanket and a cup of tea feeling all cosy while watching movies, especially Christmas movies like Love Actually or The Holiday. They never get old. It means eating clementines, peanuts and lots of chocolate next to burning candles, it means lighting another one of them every Sunday leading up to Christmas Eve until there are four flames flickering.

Christmas time means buying ready-made Christmas cookie dough and baking them with my mum even though every year we say we'll do all of it ourselves this time. Maybe 2016 will be the year we actually will. It means putting up the Christmas tree, deciding on a colour scheme we want to go for and, again, decorating it with my mum, making sure every ornament gets the perfect spot while listening to music.

Christmas time means going to Christmas markets despite the fact that it's pretty much the same thing every year and that there are always too many people so you have to make your way through the crowd somehow. Still, it's worth it and it wouldn't be Christmas without them. It means feeling the festivity in the atmosphere and admiring all the lights brightening up the city during night time.

Of course, it also means watching vlogmas videos every day and absolutely loving it.

Christmas time means sitting on the floor in my room, wrapping paper all around me, ready to finish all the presents and hoping they'll be liked.

Some years, Christmas means huge family reunions with my mother's parents, all of her siblings and their children in a cabin in the wood, rented for the evening just for us. It means eating raclette and singing Christmas songs together, hearing my uncle's dominant voice, seeing my dad hardly moving his lips so no one can hear him, it means listening to the sound of my grandfather's harmonica.

Other years it means being at home with my brother and my parents wearing comfy clothes, having a lazy evening, eating and watching a movie afterwards.

Every year it means going to church pretty much for the first time in twelve months to see the children perform a nativity play, to wait for the moment when all the lights go out and everyone starts singing Silent Night. There's something magical about it.

Christmas means opening gifts on December 25th and then going over to my father's sister house to spend the day with his family, eating self-made pasta and of course, dessert.

It means hoping for a white Christmas because that's the only day I'd actually want snow but being disappointed most years.



What does Christmas mean to you? I'd love to know!

I hope everyone reading this is having/will have a wonderful Christmas time. Enjoy all the festivities and the time spent with loved ones. Much love to all of you.

I'll see you in two weeks. Till next time, Sara x

Hello! So it is Hannah here to share with you 10 things you should love about November. As the date this is going up is the 8th November (my cat's birthday- I am a proud Mummy!) I thought why not do something to full fill your enjoyment for the 22 days! Here we go!

1. Dark nights- I know you are thinking why are dark nights something to love but in actual fact that add the cosiness of cosy nights in; you see my thinking?

2. Fireworks- Admittedly we have passed firework night now but there are still a lot of fireworks going off whether that be for parties or at displays; November means fireworks!

3. I'm a Celebrity, get me out of here!- Also known as everyone's favourite show for the winter! I'm a Celebrity is literal the entire topic of conversation for November; it starts with the countdown to it, then it goes on to talking about it whilst its on and then its looking back on all the memories from it.

4. The countdown to blogmas and vlogmas begins- I literally get so excited in November for the start of blogmas and vlogmas. The month of December consists of evenings doing work whilst working my way through the multiple amounts of blogs and vlogs I have to read and watch- its great!

5. Good tunes- In November everyone in the music industry is fighting their way through the charts to try and get Christmas number 1. They will do anything to win our downloads and purchases so its means there will be some good music being released over the duration of November.

6. Shopping!- I am one of those people who has to start Christmas shopping in November as being 16, I have a smallish budget so I buy as and when I have the money; in order to stop myself over spending when I Christmas shop and then socialise.

7. Dark colours- I can't resist the dark colours of fashion in November! Its great; saves you stressing about sweat patches as they don't show! Winning at life right now!

8. Restaurant food- I don't even know why but restaurant food always seems to be better in November than any other time of the year in my opinion because you have lost all the summery foods which I personally don't love that much and the new Christmas menu is out so you can indulge in dishes such as the Millionaire chocolate cheese cake or Grandma's apple pie. Yummy!

9. Hats- November is the season for the hats to come out! I love beanies and November is when I finally get my beanies out from their boxes and pop them on my head! Honestly, I love beanies for the fact that you can wear them with anything. I personally prefer to put them on my head and slouch off the back of my head. Random fact for you there!

10. Costa Coffee- If you know me in person, you know I am Costa obsessed anyway but in November, that my friends is when my Costa obsession is hyped! I love Costa in November. Admittedly, I am not a massive fan of hot drinks but there is something so satisfying about sitting in Costa with a peach iced tea on a November afternoon with my friend talking about life.

So that's all for now!

Love Hannah x

Hi everyone!

I initially posted this on my personal blog but because I think it's such an important topic I decided to share it on here as well. To be honest I also didn't have a post ready for today and struggled to come up with an idea so I thought why not use an older one from my blog. I hope you don't mind and I really hope I'll find the time to brainstorm ideas soon because I hate the feeling of not being organised. One more thing I wanted to say is that when I wrote the post I called myself a non-sufferer which I now know isn't entirely true. I didn't realise or didn't want to realise that I myself have experiences with anxiety as well, more precisely with social anxiety. You can read more about that here. 

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I heard of anxiety for the first time when I was watching a YouTube video by Zoe Sugg a few years back. She mentioned suffering from panic attacks and I remember not having a clue what she was talking about. I didn't really get the term anxiety either so I had to translate the word to German in order to understand what it means. From that point I noticed some other people like Tanya Burr sharing their experiences with panic attacks as well but if I'm honest with you, I still didn't really know what those attacks were all about. I knew that anxiety existed but I feel like I wasn't actually aware of it and I didn't think about it much.

I felt bad for Zoe and Tanya having to go through all of this but what I didn't realise is just how many people actually have mental health problems and just how common those illnesses are. I mean don't get me wrong, I understood that anxiety is a serious issue but the fact that I didn't personally know anyone who suffers from anxiety or any other form of mental illness back then made me think that it doesn't concern me. What I understand now is that I was wrong with that assumption.

Things changed when I started blogging. Getting to know the blogging community and talking to different people on Twitter gave me a completely new insight into everything having to do with mental health. Other bloggers educated me on that topic through their posts, sharing their experiences with a mental illness. A few months ago we also talked about anxiety disorders, what forms there are and what causes them in psychology class. I learned about OCD, GAD and different phobias. That's when I really started thinking about mental health issues because that's when I realised how hard it is to deal with them.

When the thought of writing a post on mental illnesses as a non-sufferer first crossed my mind I  wasn't sure whether it would be a good idea or not. I just didn't want to offend anyone by saying something wrong and I certainly don't want to come across like I think I know what it feels like to have a mental illness. Because I don't. I'm aware of that. What I want the message of this post to be though is that us non-sufferers can at least try to understand the challenges some people have to face every day.

We can try to understand what a mental illness feels like by listening to those who want to raise awareness.

By meeting people with mental health issues I came to the realisation that just because I'm not experiencing it myself, doesn't mean it doesn't concern me. Anxiety, panic attacks, mental illnesses - in my opinion those are things we should all be aware of and educated about. Mental health concerns non-sufferers as well. It concerns us because by not understanding those issues we make life for those who suffer even harder.

I'm not saying that I know everything about mental illnesses. I'm just saying that what I do know is having to deal with such issues is really challenging and the fact that there are people who don't even try to be understanding makes it even worse. Because the worst thing is feeling alone and not having any support. So please, if you ever meet someone who suffers from a mental illness, listen to them when they want to talk to you about it and try to understand what they are going through. You don't have to try to offer advice, just let them know that you're there for them and that you care. You'll most likely not be able to really help them, but I feel like knowing that there are people supporting you makes things a little bit better.

I really admire bloggers who share their mental health experiences because not only do they help others who are in the same or in a similar situation, they also open the eyes of those who don't suffer from a mental illness. They surely did open mine. There are particularly two wonderful people who really helped me to understand better what it means to deal with any form of anxiety or depression.

The first one is Nicole, one of my blogger friends I'd love to meet in real life at some point. Nicole suffers from OCD and it was through her post that I became aware of that illness. She has posted lots of content about mental health on her blog where she covers the aspect of explaining a mental illness to a non-sufferer as well. So if you want to educate yourself on mental health issues (which you definitely should) I'd highly recommend you to check out Nicole's posts. Nicole, if you are reading this, I just want you to know that I really admire you. You taught me a lot and I'm so glad to consider you my blogging friend.

The other one is Marc, my incredibly kind and supportive blogger mate. Marc has been diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and depression not too long ago. He's been documenting his life with anxiety on his blog lately and I have so much respect for him for doing so. His posts are so honest and he's not afraid to talk about his feelings. I talk to Marc on a daily basis and I know that he's not in a good state mental health wise at the moment so please go show him some love. Marc, thank you for trusting me and sharing your thoughts with me.

There's one thing Marc mentioned to me that I still can't believe. He said that people literally told him that mental illnesses aren't real, that he's just making it up.

Telling something like that to a person who suffers from mental health issues is so so wrong. Mental illnesses ARE real, people DON'T make them up. So please, try to be understanding. Educate yourself. Sufferer or non-sufferer, mental health concerns us all.




Much love, Sara x




Instagram: @saraschapters
Twitter: @saraschapters
Bloglovin': saraschapters

First of all, my apologies for not posting anything on here last Tuesday. I've been lacking in motivation lately, both when it comes to blogging/writing and just life in general which is why I felt like I had to take a bit of a break to get inspired again. I'm finally getting back on track with blogging now and I'm determined to create content I'm proud of again but since I stepped away from blogging for a bit I'm not too organised right now which is why this post is a bit of a last-minute one. Longer posts are hopefully coming your way again soon though!

Anyways, for todays post I wanted to share some videos I absolutely love with you guys. Personally whenever I'm in a bit of a rut or feeling down going on YouTube helps to make me feel better. Even though it has existed for a while now, I'm still amazed by the concept of YouTube. You can basically find videos on anything, no matter what you're looking for there will be someone giving you tips and advice or cheering you up simply by being themselves. Basically there's something for everyone.

So here are some of my favourite videos by some of my favourite people on YouTube.

1. You Are a Masterpiece by Nika Erculj 



2. I Feel Alone by Kalyn Nicholson 



3. LIVE YOUR LIFE / Spoken Word Poetry by ClickForTaz 




4. Creativity & Finding Inspiration by Savannah Brown 


5. How To Reach Your Goals by Cornelia Grimsmo 




6. Who You Are by Erica Canchola 



As you can see I don't really watch the typical 'beauty guru' videos just because I'm not really interested in those things. What I really love are spoken word poems, videos on a certain topic and sit-down videos where people just share their thoughts & what's on their mind. 

Do you watch any of these channels as well? What did you think of the videos? What kind of videos are your favourite ones? I'd love to know!

Thank you for reading & I'll see you in two weeks. Much love, Sara x


Instagram: @saraschapters
Twitter: @saraschapters

No matter how much you love blogging, sometimes you reach a point where you're feeling very uninspired, you don't seem to have any ideas what to write about or you simply just don't have any motivation at all. Whether you frequently experience it or only rarely, whenever it does happen, it sucks. Over the course of this past year I learned a few things about what you can do to prevent a lack of inspiration or motivation, how to deal with those phases where the words just don't flow and what to consider when it comes to your blog in general. This week's theme is blogging advice so I thought that's the perfect opportunity to share my thoughts and tips.

1. Start your blog for the right reasons

Before starting a blog, I think it's important to ask yourself: am I doing this because I'm genuinely excited about the idea of blogging or am I simply just doing this because I've seen these extremely successful bloggers and want to achieve the same? I'm not saying that wanting to be successful with what you're doing and growing your blog is a bad thing but if that's the only reason why you're starting one your motivation probably won't last for a long time. Blogging isn't easy, it takes patience and quite a lot of work. Only when you're truly passionate about it you'll feel inspired and you'll be able to push through those phases where you don't. 

2. Read other blogs & just read in general

One of the many beautiful things about reading is that you can get a lot of inspiration from it. You might be reading a blog post, an article or a book when you suddenly come across a certain sentence, quote or paragraph that catches your attention and makes you come up with an idea yourself. Of course it's not about copying somebody else, that's never a good idea to regain your motivation, it's about reading something you resonate with and then asking yourself: what do I have to add to this? What are my own thoughts?    

3. Don't compare your blog

You've probably already heard this like a million times before but honestly, don't. I feel like this is something people should hear over and over again because there really is no point in comparing your work to someone else's - whether it's your writing style, your pictures, your blog design or the amount of followers you have. Comparing your blog will only lead to you feeling down about your own or like you're doing everything wrong when that's really not the case. You won't feel inspired to work on something when you're not happy with it and I feel like that's what happens when you look at a blog with the thought 'everything about this is so much better than mine' in mind. 

4. Write down every random thought

Whenever you're thinking about something that you could turn into a blog post in some way or another, no matter how random it might seem at first, write it down. Even if it's just one word or a very vague idea, whenever you're feeling uninspired you might read through all these fragments of your thoughts again and suddenly know exactly how you could incorporate them into a blog post and develop it around that specific line you wrote down.  

5. Write about things you actually care about

Again, blogging is a lot of work, but when you're passionate about your topics and excited to share that passion with other people, it doesn't really feel like work anymore because you enjoy what you're doing. Trying to force yourself to write about topics you don't care about just because you feel like it's something people would want to read you'll soon lose motivation. That's also why comparing your blog is such a bad idea: you see what other people are doing and feel like you should be doing the same thing. But trust me, the most important thing is that you're happy with your content because only then you'll feel inspired to continue with it.  

6. Remind yourself of why you're doing it

Like I said, it's important to start your blog for the right reasons. Once you started your blog, it's just as important to remind yourself of what that reason is from time to time, to remind yourself of your personal 'why'. Ask yourself: why am I doing this? Why is it not something I'm willing to give up on even in phases where I feel unmotivated? Whether it's because you love writing, because you want to express your thoughts, give advice, share your fashion or beauty tips - remind yourself of that initial spark that made you want to go for it and let it inspire you all over again. 

7. Do what works for you 

When it comes to blogging, sometimes it's better not to listen to every piece of advice and make your own rules. I think it's great that people share their personal advice, in fact that's what I'm doing myself right now, but advice is really just that: a personal opinion, view or preference. What works for somebody else might not work for you. Maybe you're someone who doesn't like planning posts in advance or maybe you do like to do it. Either way is fine as long as it is what works for you. To me, that's often the key to staying inspired: listening to myself and doing this whole blogging thing my way.


Do you agree with the points I've mentioned? What are your own tips when it comes to staying inspired and motivated to blog?

Thank you for reading, until next Tuesday. Sara x  

 
I don't really know how I came up with the idea for this post but some time ago I was randomly thinking about what growing up with an older brother meant for me and what it was like when we were children so I thought why not write it all down. If you didn't know, which you probably didn't because I don't think I mentioned it on here before, I have a brother who's four years older than me. There are quite a few things I experienced growing up with him and I think if you do have an older brother as well you might relate to those points, or at least to some of them. Also, I know the picture doesn't have anything to do with the topic but I don't really want to post a childhood picture of us on the Internet so I guess we'll just go with it.

The first thing that came to my mind and probably the most obvious aspect of growing up with an older brother is that I used to play a lot of 'boy stuff'. And I loved it! Of course I did some more girly things as well, but I spent a lot of time playing with my brother so we would use toy cars, dragon-ball figures, Pokemon cards, swords and all that fun stuff. In our imagination we were spies, ninjas, rebels or footballers. That actually leads me to my favourite thing which was playing football with my brother and neighbour. Nearly every weekend we went outside, put up our fancy goal our parents got for us and kicked the ball until it got too dark to see what we were doing. Sometimes we continued even though the ball was nothing but a moving shadow before our eyes. Looking back on it, it makes me smile when I think about how much fun I had with the boys.

Another thing I loved was wearing my brothers old clothes. Again, I had my own, a bit more girly clothes as well, but I remember feeling totally comfortable in sweaters or shorts that didn't fit him anymore. One of the most beautiful things about being a kid is that you couldn't care less about what you're wearing and that you don't mind getting old stuff from your siblings. Actually, sometimes I still do wear my brothers old sweaters because they're honestly so comfortable.

Something that always really annoyed me is when our parents weren't home and my brother acted like he's the one in charge, the one who can tell me what to do. I mean technically he was the one in charge because obviously he was older so he had the responsibility to look after me and make sure we both behaved but still, him being all bossy annoyed me so much. Also, he used to prank me a lot. I remember that one time where he came to my room with a little bag made out of paper in his hands. He told me it was a lucky bag and that I could buy it from him. I was naive enough to give him the money (of course he didn't ask for much), opened the bag and found an already chewed chewing gum. I was so disappointed, got angry and started crying so then he had to give me back the money. It makes me laugh every time I look back on it now but in that moment I definitely didn't think it was funny.

The thing about my brother and I is that we really look alike so all of his friends always immediately knew who I was and sometimes they would call me 'Roberto Two' (which is my brothers name). I don't know if that's the case for little sisters in general but it's something I used to hate. Well okay, sometimes I hated it, but not going to lie, sometimes I probably also liked the attention I got. 

When you grow up with an older brother there will be arguments, he might act like he's the boss quite a lot and he'll make you cry with stupid pranks but there are a lot of positive aspects to it as well. In fact, getting to spend your childhood with someone by your side who always has your back, looks out for you and protects you, is such an amazing feeling. I don't know what it's like to have a sister but having a brother is pretty great. Even now when we don't see each other that much anymore because he's at university or at work while I'm at school I still know that he'll always be there for me.

That's the beautiful thing about siblings in general, no matter how much you fight or what happens, you do have a lifelong friend. And when you're lucky enough to have an older brother, you'll always have a lifelong protector as well.

I hope you didn't mind this a bit more rambling post. Do you have an older brother? What's your favourite memory of growing up with him?

Thank you for reading, until next Tuesday. Sara x   
 

 
Whenever a new school year starts I tend to be very motivated and I tell myself that I'll be super organised with exams, homework and other things. A new agenda, new supplies and stationery help me to keep that mindset for a few weeks but then once the initial phase is over, motivation begins to fade a bit and procrastination makes its appearance.

I've been back at school for two weeks now. Actually, I started my last ever semester because I'll be graduating at the end of the year. That's not the point of this post though, what I wanted to share today is a goal I set myself for this last semester. Or I guess you could say the one piece of advice I gave myself which I hope is somewhat helpful to you guys as well. I think what I mentioned in the introduction is something a lot of people can relate to so I asked myself: what is it that makes me lose my initial motivation? And I came to a conclusion.

In the weeks before summer break there was so much going on, I felt overwhelmed and my life became this routine of going to school, doing homework, studying, going to bed. Basically, I felt like school was taking over my life and that's what I think is the main problem. The reason why I get into this routine in the first place, is because I'm sometimes way too focused on school work. Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't want to do well in school or that you shouldn't care about your exams and your grades. My grades have always been quite good (I'm not trying to brag, it's just a fact) because I do invest time in studying and I don't want it to be any different this semester.

However, there is something I want to do different so let me explain. Like I said, I do invest time in school work but for this last semester I also want to focus on doing things for myself more often as well. Because I believe that's why I tend to lose motivation: all I'm focusing on is school work and I tell myself there's no time to make any other plans. Last semester I was at a point where I was at home every weekend because I felt stressed out and thought that all the work I needed to get done made it impossible to have any spare time. Instead of actually getting work done I then ended up procrastinating and being annoyed with myself though. 

So, what I want to do better this semester is setting priorities. What I mean by that is I want to do well in school but I also don't want to fall back into this routine where that's all I'm focusing on. Because sometimes, you have to make what YOU want to do a priority as well. So here's a note to myself as well as to everyone reading: balancing school work and not school related things is possible with the right time-management. You just have to plan ahead and really use your spare time instead of procrastinating.

For example, when I wrote down all the things I had to get done during the weekend this past Friday, I felt pretty overwhelmed at first. But, I managed to do everything. On Saturday, I got a lot of school work done and wrote all three blogposts for the following week because I didn't procrastinate. Then I rewarded myself by watching a movie in the evening and on Sunday I got to spend the day with a friend to enjoy some free time.

I hope you'll all do well this semester but don't forget to enjoy life and allow yourself to have breaks.

      

You know those days where you're just hanging out at home, planning on having a lazy day but at the same time not really wanting to feel like you haven't done anything at all when you go to bed at night? Sure, sometimes lying around all day can be great but at some point it can also get too much. Well, there's the possibility to combine laziness with productivity to have a productive lazy day. I personally really love those. I love feeling like I've accomplished something even if it's not a big task. Instead, on a productive lazy day, I like to focus on the simple things I don't always find time for, especially during the week. So for today's post I thought I'd share what being lazy yet productive as well exactly looks like to me.

1. Planning out stuff

I don't know about you, but being unorganised really stresses me out which is why I like to sit down and plan things out every now and then. Whether it's making a meal plan for the week, jotting down blogpost ideas and coming up with a schedule or thinking about time-management for upcoming things I'll have to get done, planning stuff makes me feel like I'm at least giving my day a bit of purpose because even though I'm not actually accomplishing any task, I'm kind of making myself an overview which is better than pushing thoughts on anything having to do with being productive away.    
2. Brainstorming 

I wish I had started using the brainstorming method to draft my posts way earlier because I realised what a helpful step it is to make the blogging process a lot easier and more organised. So brainstorming is something I like to do now when I don't feel like writing a post but still want to get some blogging work done. What I'll do is I'll just write down the topic of the post in the middle of my sheet and then make notes of all of my thoughts and things I want to mention in the post. I feel like even if you're not a blogger, brainstorming can be used for other aspects of life as well. 

3. Tidying my room

This might sound a bit weird to some people but I actually really like tidying my room. I've always been that person who enjoys decluttering, arranging and rearranging or clearing things out. To me, tidying my room is the perfect task to get done on a productive lazy day because it's something we tend to neglect for example during the week when we have so many other things going on. Also, there's something so satisfying about knowing that you'll wake up in a clean space, all ready for you to get some actual work done. 

4. Going for a walk

Walking is a great way to get your body moving without actually doing an intense workout. I'm totally guilty of not leaving the house all day sometimes which I'm not saying is always a bad thing but I often notice that I feel so much better when I at least spend half an hour to an hour outside. 

5. Reading

When is reading ever not a good idea? Yeah, that's right, the answer is never. Because reading is always a good idea. Even though getting cosy in bed or on the couch with a good book and maybe a cup of tea might sound like the perfect set up for a few lazy hours, when you really think about it, you're not being lazy while reading. Reading actually is being productive because it educates, it widens your horizon and it unconsciously improves your language skills.


Summarised into one sentence, I guess you can say that I like to use my productive lazy days to do things without feeling like I really did much if that makes any sense. 

What does your productive lazy day look like? Let me know in the comments below! 

I hope you all had a great start to the week and are doing well. Thank you so much for reading, I'll see you again next Tuesday. 

Sara x

  

We've been sitting in the car for almost eleven hours now which means there are only one or two more hours left till we reach our destination: Castelgrande, the little village in the south of Italy where my Dad grew up. It's a long journey from Switzerland all the way down there and even though I love road trips, I just want to arrive already. I'm feeling extremely tired, my legs hurt and I'm longing for a bit more space to stretch them. I can't even imagine how exhausted my Dad must be after driving for the entire day.

The landscape is flashing by while I'm staring out of the window, lost in my thoughts. Every now and then I can hear my Dad swear in Italian which makes me smile because I love the sound of that beautiful language so much, even when it's just a swear word. Him losing his temper is justified though because people here do drive like idiots.

After a while I notice that the car is getting slower and lift my head up from the five minute slumber I've been in. We're stopping on the parking lot in front of a roadhouse and I quickly reach for the door handle, relieved to finally be able to move my body for a bit. When I step outside, I'm immediately aware that I'm no longer in Switzerland because like always the differences are obvious right away. The air, the voices surrounding me, the loudness, the chaos. Everything's so different from what I'm used to yet everything feels so familiar to me. 

Back on the road for the last stage of the trip, we leave the highway. The street gets twisting and is slowly going upwards.

And then, we're finally there. The village appears in front of us and we make our way through it until we turn into the street our house is located in. Nonna is leaning against the front door, already waiting for us with a happy expression on her face. We haven't seen her in months because just like every other year she spent the summer in Castelgrande. It's the middle of October now so once we drive back to Switzerland she will be coming with us. After giving her a tight hug, I can see the neighbours coming out of their houses as well. All of them are welcoming us with a warm smile.  


I wake up the next morning feeling proud of myself because the night before, just after our arrival, I properly talked to my Nonna in Italian for the first time. I've always been a bit afraid to talk in what technically is my second language because I don't speak it fluently. This time while being here I decided to just stop caring about making mistakes and I'm so glad I did. The clearly visible spark in Nonna's eyes was priceless.

At around eleven a.m. we leave the house to go have lunch at Zia Filomena and Zio Angelo's house. We start following the street leading to the centre of the village and while we're walking through the alleys people are looking at us with curiosity in their eyes. Some of them recognise my Dad because they know him from when he was little and used to live in Castelgrande while others have no idea who we are. Castelgrande is far from being a place for tourists so seeing someone they don't know is a rare case for the inhabitants of the village.

Three hours later we're still sitting at the table, tons of food in front of us. That's how it is when you get a lunch invitation in Italy: you eat and eat and eat with no ending in sight. While listening to my Dad and his relatives talk I realise that the five years or something of learning Italian at school are paying off. I now understand pieces of the conversation, not everything because they speak in dialect and sometimes way too fast for me to follow them. When I think of all the times I sat at the table with them as a kid not having a clue what they are even talking about, it's a huge progress though. One that makes me extremely happy just like talking in Italian with my Nonna did.

Before we leave they invite us to help them gather their grapes the next day because they always do that in October. 



When I get up in the morning, the sun is already shining through my window which immediately puts me in a good mood. We will be gathering the grapes later on in the day so I pass time by reading for hours.

The sound of a car engine in front of the house let's us know that Zio Angelo is here so we head downstairs. He greets us in a serious way, telling us not to leave any dirt in his car. I look around feeling confused because the ground is already covered with mud and dust. Then he starts smiling and I realise he was joking. We all crack up.

We arrive at the spot where their grapes are, some of my female relatives already working. My Mum and I join the other women. They give us instructions and we start going through the lines, putting the grapes in huge baskets which will be transported by the men.

I look up and see Zio Angelo loading his small, old car which looks like it's going to fall apart any minute with several boxes full of grapes. They're heavy and the car boot is so full that he can't even close it anymore. He doesn't seem to care though. 

I can't help but laugh because it's ridiculous but so typical for the people here. I think to myself: only when in Italy.

Helping my relatives with their work on this beautiful day, makes me feel like I belong here. Even though we only come to Castelgrande every two years, I can feel the bond connecting me to these people.   

In that moment I realise that this village, this is my second home. I might not have grown up here but it does have a special place in my heart and so do the people living in it. The time I'm spending in Castelgrande is a different kind of holiday because it doesn't really feel like a holiday. It's more like coming home after being gone for a while. 

If you read my introduction post or some of the things I've written on my personal blog, you'll know by now that I want to be a writer. From a young age it has been my dream to release my own books one day. As a kid I used to write stories, some of them I managed to actually finish, others have been abandoned after a few pages. I remember that one time we got the assignment to write a story at school - we used to work on it for like an hour every day which soon became my favourite part of the day.

At some point when I got older I kind of just stopped. I stopped believing that I'll be an author in the future, I stopped thinking that it's even a realistic option to pursue writing as a career. Why? Because this thing called self-doubt came in the way. I'm a very self-critical person in general & tend to doubt myself a lot. Wanting to be a writer is something that continued to be on my mind though, even when I pushed that thought aside.

What I know now is that if something is constantly on your mind, that's what you should pursue. No matter what it is you want to do, whether you want to be a writer, a blogger or something completely different, learning to deal with self-doubt is important. It's definitely not easy to ignore those voices in your head telling you that you can't do it but if they are holding you back from following your passion then it's worth it to give it a try. This doesn't only apply to what you want to do in life but also just having to do a certain task or assignment. Whatever it is that causes your self-doubts, there are a few things you can remind yourself of to give them less power over you. 

To be honest, I suck at ignoring self-doubts myself. If I didn't, I wouldn't have stopped believing in my dream for a while. It's something I'm working on at the moment and I've been thinking about a lot recently. Why do I have self-doubts? How do I deal with them? How can I get rid of them? Those are all questions I asked myself so I wanted to share some of my thoughts on that topic today. I'm writing this for all of you who are struggling with doubting yourself as well but I'm also writing it for myself so I can look back on it whenever I feel the need to.


Get rid of expectations, they lead to being disappointed

Personally I feel like the number one reason for my self-doubts is that I always build up this image in my head - whether it's for a blogpost, a book or a different task, I tend to set expectations of what I want my work to look like. This image is often too perfect though, I know that I won't be able to meet these expectations and just end up being disappointed in myself for not doing a better job.

Thinking like that won't help though, we need to stop being our own worst critic and we need to stop being so hard on ourselves. Just because your work isn't perfect, doesn't mean it's not good. Your work will never be perfect because perfection doesn't even exist. So if that's what you're aiming for, you'll never start and you'll never get anything done.

You honestly just have to start somewhere. Taking the example of writing a blogpost, make a first draft. You can always get back to it and edit what you don't really like about it later on. A first attempt doesn't have to be your best piece of work.
       

Don't underestimate your skills, you're capable of amazing things 

Underestimating myself is another thing I'm definitely guilty of. I realised that whatever it is you're doing, there will always be aspects of it that you're not that good at. What that doesn't mean though, is that you're not talented enough or don't have the needed skills to accomplish your task or goal. I think what we need to be aware of to kick self-doubt in the ass is that we all have strengths and weaknesses but that we should put more focus on what we're good at and accept what we can't do that well. Like I said, perfection doesn't exist.
  

Practise & try not to be afraid of failure 

You know, sometimes I'm afraid that once I start working on a blogpost, on a poem or on a novel, I'll suddenly find out that I can't do it. I tell myself: What if I get stuck? What if I'll end up having writer's block? What if I can't manage to formulate my thoughts? In those moments, when I start over thinking, I have to tell myself that I want this more then I am afraid of failure. Because just like the image I have in my head, those thoughts hold me back from even starting.

Besides, failure is part of life. Just because you fail to accomplish something once doesn't mean you'll always fail. It really is true that the more you do something, the better you get at it. And the better you get at something, the more you start believing in yourself.
  
 
Look back on past accomplishments & listen to positive feedback

These two things really do help me a lot! When someone compliments you on something you've created or accomplished, it can be so easy to think that they are not being honest. Having self-doubts means that you don't believe in your skills so why would others recognise that you're good at what you're doing?

Well, if you want to get rid of self-doubt you have to listen to positive feedback and trust that those people really do mean what they say. Whenever I get a comment on a post or a poem or a snippet of my book complimenting my writing, it makes me feel so much more confident in what I'm doing. Positive feedback won't necessarily completely shut up this inner voice but it will make it easier to ignore it.

Whenever I doubt my abilities to write a novel, I remind myself that I actually did manage to write a book for my dissertation. Looking back on past accomplishments makes you realise that you CAN do it. You managed to once so why shouldn't you be able to do it again?

   
 
Do you struggle with self-doubts as well? How do you deal with them? I'd love to know!

I really hope this post was helpful in some way. I wish you all an amazing week & I'll see you next Tuesday.

Sara x

Personal Blog: Sara's Chapters
    

Dear Diary,

To be writing this feels kind of weird, cause I haven't done it in a while. I stopped using a diary 5 years ago to be precise.

Yesterday evening I was looking for my old diaries and I found them at the bottom of a box I keep memories in. Both of them were locked up, lying there untouched for quite a long time. At first I couldn't remember where I put the keys to open them up but it eventually crossed my mind. I put my diaries in one of the drawers of my nightstand and went to bed with the thought to read some old entries the next day.

Today is that next day. It is Monday, the first of August (Swiss National Day so Happy Birthday Switzerland). I'm sitting on my balcony, my fingers gliding over the keyboard of my laptop, the diaries next to me on the table. I just finished reading through them and now I'm typing this because a year ago I found an exciting new way to follow my passion for writing & even share it with other people. I'm pretty sure 8 years old me couldn't even imagine that I would be doing this one day.

That's how old I was when I wrote my first diary entry back in 2006. The first few pages are full of spelling mistakes and I can't help but laugh when I go through them now. Still, I'm glad to have the possibility to look back on these entries, even if I basically just wrote about what I was playing that day, what we ate and how my brother annoyed me.

As the months & years went on and the dates at the top of a new entry changed, my writing changed with it. Not only the quality of it, which definitely improved as I got older, but also the content, how I wrote and what I wrote about.

I read about boys I thought I was madly in love with, there's a new name mentioned like every other page (lol). I read about friends I still have in my life now and about others that aren't part of it anymore. I read about things and events I totally forgot about and others that are still so present, it seems like they only just happened yesterday.  

I look back on these pages filled with words I wrote 5 years ago or longer - I know that those are my words, I know that she's me & I am her but at the same time it feels like we're completely different people. I changed too, I grew up.

5 years have passed since my very last diary entry. I was thirteen back then, I'm eighteen years old now. In two weeks, I'm about to start my last semester of school ever, I'll be graduating at the end of the year (hopefully). I still can't quite believe that it will be over soon but I can't wait. I can't wait to figure out what life has in store for me next, I can't wait to start working on my dreams and I can't wait to have more time for blogging.

It's kind of crazy to me what a huge part of my life blogging has become this past year. This one as well as my personal blog, those are my diaries now. This is where I share my writing and my thoughts, this is where I capture things. Every blogpost is like a new page in a diary - in 5 years I'll hopefully be able to look back on them just like I did with all these old entries today.

5 years from now I'll be 23. I'll probably be thinking the same thing I am now: wow, I've definitely changed. Did I really write this? Cause that's life. We get older, we grow up, we change.